fates

Dear Husband

I’m falling or maybe not.

I can’t decided what is best if I’m really  not

Meant to be the mother

Of such wonderful kids

I guess its better stated I can’t tell if I’m downing

Or swimming

Or flying

Its so hard to tell

What’s expected

When you sitting

Trying to get your daughter to be asleep by wishing

And pretending you don’t hear her cry and playing with the blinds

Looking out the window

To what might be a better world.

I don’t know if I’m falling

But  I feel weightless inside

It’s consent fear that my end isn’t well

I tremble that the story is not comedic, but tragic and I

Like Macbeth am the villain

Who darkens the lives around him

Please dear Dios

Free my soul from this lacking

Let it be a fairy tale ending

Not in some future that I can not see

But now around me.

Turn me to the fairy, who makes lives better

Instead of running and hiding

causing pain

Dearest Lord,

God of my youth

Come to my soul again

Light it with fire with what is True

If I am to be blinded let me be blinded by light

That I may not feel dark clouds about be

Please, let me taste, let me touch

That it is good, one sense is too uncertain.

I like a sheep can’t tell when it’s astray

Make me an under-shepherded who can see there’s gate

I fear my fire is dimming

It’s too far to see on barrowed light

Lead me dear God to where  your oil is storing, that I may fill and never thirst anymore

Dear Father in Heaven,  here we are sheep

We can not find the way by ourselves.

O Come to my heart, Thou Prince of Peace

Let me know in thee I have place.